As I read more and more about Buddhism and its concept, I felt very regretful for wasting so much of my time in the past. I should have preserve in attending the dharma class when I first signed up. Now, everything speaks to me. I feel that this was right and yet I have little time. I do know that I could extend the time if I want to, and Buddhism is not in favour of my decision. But that is the only thing that I will not compromise or change my mind. It is like the anchor that gave me the strength to live on for the past close to five years.

But there are so many things that I want to do that I feel that I should dedicate one week in October after leaving this job to study more while I could. I feel at peace. Like I am one step closer to that peace and tranquility that I felt in my sunflower dream. I want to practise more meditation but within a short period of time. I need to now. 

It has been some time since I have written a blog.. it is not forgivable though  since I was trying to start a blog and attract traffic. However, many things happened at work.  I shall give a warning first.. this post is going to be pretty long.

My last post talked about a job that I actually was quite reluctant to take up but due to money issues, I decided to take it. As expected, the job sucked big time. It was the third time in a row that I had little things to do at work. The pay was lower than my last full time job stated in my resume, but I think it was fair (and I did mention this to the HR manager during my exit interview) to pay that salary to me with that kind of jobscope. My boss was good though in terms of flexibility. In fact, he was too lenient for the good of the organisation. He allowed me to take time off and never mention anything when it comes to long lunches. I had a good time with non-work aspects in this job frankly speaking. Unlike the insurance company that I entered, where I felt alone, the colleagues in this organisation were on the whole either ok (those that didn’t like me, I did not have to work that closely with them) and during lunch time, I have a fixed small group of colleagues and interns to have lunch with. My friends and sister were working nearby as well, so I was okay. However, it was unbearable after working for five months where there were days when you literally just spent the whole day watching two movies and some cartoons to while away the time. 

I believe it is normal for most people. I would like to reiterate, although no one likes a busy job that literally force you to plan right down to the minute to FULLY make use of the time to finish the ever-piling work, it is NOT happiness nor luck to have a job that trains you to read all the reading sites as much as up to eight hours a day.

My first book was an attempt, albeit a failed attempt to combine fantasy/mystical with reality.. hahahaha... so fantasy/mystical writers really have an extremely good imagination to be able to translate that into words and bring their readers into their world.
I can't. So, I decided to stick to reality drama. Anyway, there is a big drama story unfolding around me. So since I have gotten permission to use this story, I shall weave it into my second book, of course with many many other drama-mama storylines into it. Now, I just need to set aside time to do so..