Now I know that it is not that case. I am tied down by the concept of “filial piety” which I don’t wish to now. Facing my parents who are a toxic influence to me, I know that I need to cut away from them. They will NEVER understand that they are “loving” their children in the wrong way. And they are not making sense at all.
Dealing with unreasonable people is a waste of time, a drain on your positive energy. It is the same with unreasonable bosses. People who think they can jump onto you and keep pushing you to do more things. People who think they can push you or sell you out so that their goals are met.
During one of the dharma classes, one venerable said something that really turn my thinking – if your advice or gesture is not welcome nor needed by the other party, that action is actually a source of burden to the recipient. It does not bring any happiness nor enlightenment to that party.
I agree with it totally.
The issue now is how to deal with it. After reading self-help books and listen to others during workshops, I realised the only way you can do is to shut off. Basically only you can control yourself and your emotions. Now when I hear such crap comments that are condescending and in no context, I will tell myself this is stupid and just drop it. I will ignore my parents and do my own stuff so that I am not bothered by their actions that has no meaning and doesn’t make an ounce of sense to me.